From an A Word With You Press Contest Submission. It means so many things to me now.

by Tiffany Vakilian

By missing you I learn
The tactile visage of love
One that is first
Then I am a student

If by holding you for a few
Too few
Sickening short moments
In my hand
I see life and appreciate
The finality
Of life’s end
Then I am here
A book
Writing and written

If by recreating
I seem in some small way
To have forgotten
The feel of you
Reaching out for me
I cannot budge from
Penitent prayers for forgiveness

Because I have not
I have gone forward
Feeling the perfection
Of one’s most intimate conversation
I have gone forward
Looking to see you again
Holding the hope
Of hearing your stilled
Small voice
I have gone forward
Red, then blue, then multifaceted colors
Owning this
Spear of teardrop truth
You were my first love