Change of Plans 2

Contemplating this wheelhouse in which I find myself… jokes on me for even thinking that I could control one half a millisecond of it.

And yet, there is a comedy to the perfection of the raindrops that hit me in my current, un-umbrella’ed, situation. Some moments can take you back to other moments, due to the elegant simplicity of how they fit so perfectly.

Same jeans, same shirt, same shoes, here you are in that arena, You knew you’d return, even though you didn’t know how you really felt about that idea.

Still, there you are, standing outside in the rain, and you find yourself uncovered once again, at least at this juncture, because this place was never meant to be hidden or concealed. You physically can not hide it.

But the day is different, even though you’re standing on the same street. No matter how surreal, or how horrible that one Tuesday was. Or even that other Tuesday. This Tuesday marks the milestone of something wonderful, and you can rock that same set of healed heels with peace because this day ain’t that day.

This bears repeating. This day ain’t that day.

The wave that returns to you may have the same batch of salty seaweed and brackish water, but you will find the fish are different.

I say again, this day, ain’t that day.

Put that day “over there”. Because it ain’t goin’ nowhere. It has a mile marker in your life’s journey, and you are allowed to return. Just not today, because this day didn’t come for that, and you need this day’s stuff unpacked for the work needed.

This day deserves its own watering of seed, and wink of sass. This day has its parade ready to go, and you deserve your own walk down it, rife with ticker tape, and shouting fans, witnessing you hit this marker and move right past it (yes in that outfit–the one you considered burning).

You know what your witnesses do? They shout victoria! That point you thought was a stopping point, in fact, was a marker to remind you of this victory and the victories to come.

Are you not exactly where you need to be? Is not this perfect “storm of emotion” or “rain of circumstance” the very Forest-camouflaged wheelhouse you needed to walk through, to go through since you put those pants on.

Go on now.

I sometimes feel like dancing in the middle of people. But I try not to bump the ones too close.

Change of Plans

There are just enough
Quips and quotes
About life’s plans
And life’s happenings
I’ma let them take care of the picture painting

Emotions stay in motion
But memories feel plastic
The landscape has changed the picture
The game has changed the rules
But I am here

I must admit I have enough
Beautiful things to consider
About life’s journey
About life’s detours
I’ma let them take care of my mental-making

Emotions stay in motion
But memories feel plastic
The landscape has changed the picture
The game has changed the rules
But I am here

Untitled 10-5-17

I choose life
Even bloody life
It can burn like fire
The bloodiness of that word
It sounded like
Justification
The feeling of it
Bound me ’round my waist
And my throat
I couldn’t see my way clear
Until I chose
My eyes were covered
And then I chose
I can’t be seen clearly
Your “rose-colored” love
Is a warped diadem
Leaning a bit too far down
You can’t see me
For the tyranny of your title
And so here we are
Trying to see one another
None doing it correctly
Until we choose
And the words bleed bloody justification
No honesty or attempts at bridges
Only bloody words
Scaring and scarring
But I choose life
I choose fire
I choose joy
Bloody joy even

Freelancer, Author, Transformative Language Artist