Hearing the Voice of the Heart

The holiday season is a great time to consider the rain and the symbol of cleansing that comes with it. Let’s consider expelling the poison that may be within us. Let’s consider that we all are fragile in the snow with no cover. Let’s consider we often pretend to be Hercules, when really we are Tiny Tim without the crutch.

“…She has them believing that poor old ape with the twisted foot is a satyr. Illusions, deceptions, mirages!” – The Last Unicorn

Considering the idea of authenticity, it makes me wonder how many people don’t know what is actually in their own hearts. And because they don’t investigate, they act contrary to their own soul on a detrimentally regular basis.

I was that person, I worked for and with that person. I dated that person. Once I punched that person in the gut – but I was nine, and have learned telling someone the truth can be WAY more fulfilling (or devastating) that physical violence.

This morning as I was preparing this post, I received an email from someone in high school. He wasn’t my favorite person. But he said he saw in me a beautiful soul. I thought that (at that time in my life) I couldn’t be my own self. I had to wear the multi-socks, the cross gear– be this thing that really couldn’t explain me or be explained by me. I, like him, did stupid things in that time, but don’t we all?

His regret for who he was makes me think that he, sometime in the not too recent past, saw his heart (or maybe I’m just being an artistic chick about it). Referring to the first two quotes, my point is whether your heart is hidden by your performance of self or worn on your sleeve, it will speak. Will I hear it in the midst of my spinning? Will you listen when it says something? Will we do the work?

Peter Beagle via Schmendrick the magician said, “It is a rare man who is taken for what he truly is.” I use to think he said, “It is a rare man mistaken for who he truly is.” I don’t know whose phrase I like better, haha.

Your cross is not mine to bear. Neither is mine yours. Love, when true, can hurt like the deepest torture dungeon in hell. It can also put gold in your wings and bear you up to the stars. It takes bravery to engage and begin. So (in my best Samuel L. Jackson voice) the question remains –

“What’s in your [heart]?

I’m such a goofball.