The Righteous Ambivalent – a call to check myself
They shine so much
so much they can’t care
for your dreams
not in comparison
to the son, the sun, the Sound
of their own voice
the accomplishments
and the trials
drinks on me
I am sometimes one
I must fight against
the shocking terror of the
nuanced limelight
when you are called to shine
sometimes the stardust
does get in your eyes
I am a city on a hill
and I am called
it’s a ministry…a platform
A soundbox
and if you’re not careful
you puff up
and you become
ew
and worse
a them
and others’ hopes and dreams
don’t matter
so long as they have an audience
but it is not a pulpit
just a full pit
of vipers
wearing the same name
branded
and blinded
a gold gilded blindfold
and they call on the name of Jesus
while they watch you die
in the corner
I don’t want that legacy
So let me go back
I plead
for mercy
I was stupid
and proud
and now I say out loud
I eschew ambivalence
and each day I’ll take a chance to
be
like Mary
not Martha
and love my life
pouring it out
I ain’t nobody
but I know
Somebody
and I have work to do
whether the light is on
me or you
if I have bread and you are hungry
I will give what is in me
not just the platitude to
“go, and be
blessed” and starving
take this heartstring
and check me if need be
because ambivalence is poison
in the heart