Hello there to those of you reading,
I just want you to know that I still exist, such as the case may be. There are as always shifts, cycles, and changes taking place. I am in the midst of some graduate school writing that is FINALLY starting to feel like it is mine, and not something some annoying teacher-megalomaniac told me to say. I’ve also been upheaved on many levels.
The more things change, the more I find I am settling into a “me” that is unlike anyone I’ve known me to be (and therefore, I’m overtaking and getting rid of some BAD habits, and starting newer, better ones). Dare I say I’m becoming more authentic?
I’ve started having some pretty awesome (and terrible) conversations with God. He’s told me some things about myself that are bigger than I’m ready to deal with, and some things that I need to stop think-speak-do-being. And then there are all the people around me who are telling me wonderful things about who they see me to be, and how I affect them, which lines up with what God has been telling me my whole life (but of course, we can only imagine how I listened… but that was before…)
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| ‘Si Malakas at Si Maganda” by Rejeena Victoriana ~saw both it and the artist at an artwalk 5/6/12 in San Marcos (this image does it no justice) |
In the midst of this, life is happening… and art as well- in me, around me, etc. Sometimes it hits me immediately, and sometimes it takes a few days, but tends to be more powerful when it does. The above picture is what I will call a delayed ping (think active sonar, but for the artist’s soul). Without meaning to, Rejeena inspired some of my graduate work. Si Malakas at Si Maganda is the Philipino creation myth, which fits in my Pme/Qme-Authenticity Spectrum pretty well (you have to read my papers to better understand that, and I don’t want to post them here… this is where I wax Tiffanitious…lol). Suffice it to say that the split, strength, and beauty are pinging me to work on grad work. Right now I am exploring my subjective definition of authenticity and how that plays out in other definitions. It’s beautiful, boring, aggravating, strengthening stuff.
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| By A. Aviles while a passenger in my Red Blessedmobile |
But then, that is what is my life right now. Some of it is unclear, some of it is crystal clear, some of it is stone solid, and some of it is flower fading. I just wanted to spend some time sharing that God is working in/on/through me, and “I am loving every moment, even the strain” (India Arie, Good Morning).
I also have a story coming about a painting someone did of me that took seven years to get to me. More coming soon…