God help me
I am trying to forgive
It feels filthy to deal with
Like the sunlight in L.A.
The true abomination
My brother’s keeper
My brother’s killer
What makes you so different from Cain?
You smashed his manhood
With the rock of your ego
Until there was none of him left
Except the corner cutter
The judge and hypocrite
Just like you
And it is your fault
You go on to banquet
With the other shape-shifted sycophants
Blood still dripping from your hands
His guts on display decomposing
As you laugh
In the sanctuary no less
How can the God I know
And the God you know
Be the same
It is beyond my understanding
Better not to research it now
I’m trying to forgive you
God help me

Then… and then…

I have been asked recently (on the 4th of July in 2020, no less) if I have personally experienced racism. It was an honest, though unfortunately ignorant, question from someone I consider a gentle soul, and a real friend. Rather than let it fester inside me, I’m letting it out. It makes me both vulnerable, and stronger than I’ve ever been. I pray my children are proud of my honesty, and not ashamed of my stupidity.